Lacrimosa Dies Illa (ENGLISH)
by LadyDimness
Summary: A retrospective on Sharon and Reim's wedding. Or how Sharon would have clearly preferred to marry Break.
1. Day of Tears

**_Blabla of the author: _** Hi everybody ! I am the little new one of the website. I hope this story, like all the ones I'll write, will please you. I try to respect the nature of the characters, but it's not always easy ... T_T Also, I'm not from any english speaking countries, be nice ! ;)

 ** _DISCLAMERS: _** I don't own Pandora Hearts or his characters. All belongs to Jun Mochizuki. The story is mine. Don't reupload it please.

 ** _Note:_** In any case, it's my first fiction published, so be indulgent, please. If you have read these lines, thank you. We will see each other soon my little kittens ! GOOD READING !

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She knew she was the worst person in the world right now. What a shame, to think so when everything smiled at her. God, she was mad! Lots of women would dream of being in her place at this moment, and she, all she dreamed of was to be elsewhere...

She had, besides her, this wonderful man, whom she had known for years now, and who was on the point of giving her his life. But all she hoped that he was another...

She hated herself! Yes, Sharon Rainsworth hated herself. Think of another man on her own wedding day! Imagined that this man who haunted her thoughts - for four years now - could be in the place of her future, and almost, husband. May she be damned for that!

But God she had loved him! And she always loved him so passionately! Yes, she was so deeply in love with him that she was ready to marry the only man who shared her memories of him. And Sharon blamed herself. Terribly. To did this to Reim was horrible on her part... He married her out of love, she married him out of spite... But Xerxes Break never left her thoughts. Like the flame of a candle that refuses to put out. Her big brother Xers, whom she had ended up considered differently as the years passed slowly. Because, and it must be confessed, even by knowing that his double contract was killing him little by little, time passing, and the end never arriving, she had finally considered him as acquired. Yes, her dear Xerxes would remain with her forever... But... it finally happened... He was gone... And with him, her soul and her broken heart.

And he missed her so much... his little half-mocking smile when he tried to hide something, his way of appearing brutally at the wrong moment, his greed, his endless chatters, his petty insults that he threw through Emily... Yes, all of this was missing her... Break missed her.

"Do you, Reim Lunettes, take Lady Sharon Rainsworth to be your wife, to aide her in ruling the Rainsworth Dukedom and to cherish her as your lifelong companion?"

"I do."

If only he was not the one who pronounce these words. Oh, but she was silly! Yes, foolish to think like this. It was not good! It was not fair! Neither for Reim, nor for her, nor for Break by the way...

For once, he would most certainly be angry at her. She had no right to spoil her happiness by thinking of him that way. Not the right, to defile his memory with thoughts as gloomy. What a shame! Him who was always so cheerful!

But behind her veil, hidden in the eyes of all - especially those of Reim - her face revealed all of her true feelings.

"Do you, Lady Sharon Rainsworth, take Reim Lunettes to be your husband and lifelong companion?"

Sharon gently inhaled. No, she really did not want Reim. And in a way, it was not really him that she married, but his memories. His memories of the mad hatter. And she blamed herself for this. And surely, that thing would be so for the eternity that remained for her to live. If Break, in the end, did not wish to die, today, it was her who did not want to live anymore. Because a life without Xerxes Break was not really one.

But she would live for him. And perhaps in their common memories of the blind hatter she shared with Reim, she would find some inner peace.

Then, slowly, almost in a whisper, she replied:

"I do."

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 **REVIEWS, please. They gives happiness. And also, don't hesitate to give me your impressions too. 3**


	2. Second End

A second end that I had written afterwards because I felt frustrated with the other. I wanted Sharon to express her feelings even more. That's a thing done ! ;)

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She knew she was the worst person in the world right now. What a shame, to think so when everything smiled at her. God, she was mad! Lots of women would dream of being in her place at this moment, and she, all she dreamed of was to be elsewhere...

She had, besides her, this wonderful man, whom she had known for years now, and who was on the point of giving her his life. But all she hoped that he was another...

She hated herself! Yes, Sharon Rainsworth hated herself. Think of another man on her own wedding day! Imagined that this man who haunted her thoughts - for four years now - could be in the place of her future, and almost, husband. May she be damned for that!

But God she had loved him! And she always loved him so passionately! Yes, she was so deeply in love with him that she was ready to marry the only man who shared her memories of him. And Sharon blamed herself. Terribly. To did this to Reim was horrible on her part... He married her out of love, she married him out of spite... But Xerxes Break never left her thoughts. Like the flame of a candle that refuses to put out. Her big brother Xers, whom she had ended up considered differently as the years passed slowly. Because, and it must be confessed, even by knowing that his double contract was killing him little by little, time passing, and the end never arriving, she had finally considered him as acquired. Yes, her dear Xerxes would remain with her forever... But... it finally happened... He was gone... And with him, her soul and her broken heart.

And he missed her so much... his little half-mocking smile when he tried to hide something, his way of appearing brutally at the wrong moment, his greed, his endless chatters, and his petty insults that he threw through Emily... Yes, all of this was missing her... Break missed her.

"Do you, Reim Lunettes, take Lady Sharon Rainsworth to be your wife, to aide her in ruling the Rainsworth Dukedom and to cherish her as your lifelong companion?"

"I do."

If only he was not the one who pronounce these words. Oh, but she was silly! Yes, foolish to think like this. It was not good! It was not fair! Neither for Reim, nor for her, nor for Break by the way...

For once, he would most certainly be angry at her. She had no right to spoil her happiness by thinking of him that way. Not the right, to defile his memory with thoughts as gloomy. What a shame! Him who was always so cheerful!

But behind her veil, hidden in the eyes of all - especially those of Reim - her face revealed all of her true feelings.

"Do you, Lady Sharon Rainsworth, take Reim Lunettes to be your husband and lifelong companion?"

Sharon gently inhaled. No, she really did not want Reim. And in a way, it was not really him that she married, but his memories. His memories of the mad hatter. And she blamed herself for this. And surely, that thing would be so for the eternity that remained for her to live. If Break, in the end, did not wish to die, today, it was her who did not want to live anymore. Because a life without Xerxes Break was not really one.

But she would live for him. And perhaps in their common memories of the blind hatter she shared with Reim, she would find some inner peace.

Then, slowly, almost in a whisper, she replied:

"I do."

"Go now in peace and live in love, sharing the most precious gifts you have, the gifts of your lives united. And may your days be long on this earth. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Closing her eyes, Sharon tried to hunt down the tears that threatened to fall since the ceremony began. She eventually gave up, thinking that everyone would think it was tears of joy.

But when Reim lifted the veil to kiss her, it was a circumspect face that he offered to her.

And taking fear that he discovers the depths of her thoughts, she offered him her most beautiful smile. And while her husband's lips were resting on hers, she told herself that the only place where Break had landed his own was on her head...

Offering smiles falsely happy to the crowd in front of her, Sharon caught herself watching her friends stealthily. Ada, on her right, who, as a perfect bridesmaid, was crying one's eyes out. Even though, to be in this church had to make her suffer. After all, she too would never marry the man she really loved. Thinking of Vincent Nightray made her look for Gilbert. She found him at the back of the room, leaning against the entrance door, a sweet smile resting on his lips. Him who, she knew, was going to spend the rest of the centuries to come, waiting for Oz and Alice's return.

Sharon bit her lips. Oz and Alice... themselves, as disappeared as Break. Even though there was still a chance for them, the hatter was him, well and truly dead. Was there nothing to make her smile today?! By all the saints, what she had done to deserve all of this?!

If her knees shivered under her white dress, Sharon did not collapse. She had to stay strong. For Reim above all. And for all the others afterwards. Her grandmother, too, had lost the man she loved, but she continued to smile. And it was her turn now. To draw happiness in the small things of everyday life. A daily that she was going to share with Reim now. It was up to her to make sure that it worked, even if looking at him in his eyes painfully remind her of those moments they had spent together with Break.

Sharon lowered her head, watching with interest the flowers of her bridal bouquet. The same as those, as a child, she had offered to the sad and bruised Kevin Regnard.

"I'm sorry."

So sorry that she cannot keep her promise. To not continue to smile even after his departure. To not live with, just, her memory of him. Sharon let a tear crash on her bouquet. She could not go against her feelings and heart. She closed her eyes, smiling at the recollection of their awkward dance at Isla Yura's manor. Break was indeed a poor dancer, but she wasn't overconfident either from the top of her 5'2 of this time.

She must cherish these memories. Oh, but she already cherished them so much... She expired strongly. God that she was miserable at this very moment. Break would probably laugh loudly if he could see her. He would say:

"There's no point in living in the past, my lady, I've already experienced it, and it's mournfully painful, so please do not make the same mistakes as I did."

Yes, she had to stop living in the past. She had to find a way to take advantage of the present moment. Even if her bruised heart hammered her chest of blows. She had to hold out. And perhaps, one day, she would see him again? Perhaps they would be given a life where they could finally be together. Meanwhile, it was at Reim that she had given hers, and it was for him that she had to live.

"Forgive me, Break." whispered Sharon, finally decided.

"Did you say something, my dear? "

"No. Everything is fine, everything is perfect."

"I'm happy to hear it."

"Oh, Reim? "

"Hmm? "

"Thank you..."

Thank you Xerxes Break, for these wonderful years spent together. Thank you for these memories...

Thank you, Reim, for all these years to come, for your love. Thank you, for this happiness that will follow...

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 **REVIEWS ?! XD**


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